you know, being surrounded by studious and painstaking people was never easy, really. once i had a class who all the people inside didn't really fakkin' care about study, we stepped our foot in school just to meet society and gained some fun, babbling and gossiping with no intentions during the school hours, play play play and play inside our head. you know, just like any others freshman.

but now? i am trapped in a place called class which was really different with the previous one. i liked the people, they were all fine, they were all friendly. but they were also....hardworkers. realized that i couldn't be  like i used to was really, really tiresome. i had to pretend like someone else, someone that far away from who i really am. i had to study harder, harder, and harder. i had to make my self not look like an idiota around them. i had to reach good score on every subjects just to not feel ashamed.

maybe no one forced me to be like this, to be like them. it is just self-awareness. but sometimes it is also good. i am being so motivated by them. they also gave me a lot of benefits. i feel smarter than at the first grade. but i am tired. i need some space. 

i miss my old days.

hi people. feels like it's been ages i'm not posted anything on this blog. i've been so freaking busy, yea. so here i am, sitting here alone, on my lovely bed accompanied by the sounds of falling rain, so peaceful. drop my fingers on the keyboard and still do not know what i'm about to write...honestly, i'm trying to figure many things out that had been through, and find out that my life now is so much better than few months ago. i've never thought there would  be any changes of me after all-the-broken-heart. i've never thought i could be falling in love with someone else with all the pieces of my heart that remained.

proudly introduce you to all people that read this post. yeah you. someone who made my days become so colourful, someone who gave me a lot of attentions and care about me. someone who had always been there whenever i needeed, someone who made me feel safe, loved, needed.

thank you, thank you for filling up my heart, thank you for colouring my days, thank you for recovering me from that broken heart. you know i love you, i really do. faf:)

A derp who loves talking too much, still a student though. Enclosed spaces are cozy; I'm weird like that.
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